Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
