she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
