Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm getting married
To pizza
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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