That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
