at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
