you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
