That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
