That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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