We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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