We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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