The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
