Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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