Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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