I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
