i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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