is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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