he shaved USA in his pubs
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
