I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
