you have to choose: penises or morals?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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