just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
