I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
