I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
