based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There's always time for handjobs
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
