I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
