i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
