Porn is love you can see.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
