Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
