im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
