Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I believe in your delicious
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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