Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
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Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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