Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
