would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
