Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
