Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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