Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
