Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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