apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
