I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
