I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
