Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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