Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
