why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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