between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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