There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
