Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's rum buckets o'clock
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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