Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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