Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
