lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
