the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
should my penis look like a turkey
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
