Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
