I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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