no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
