my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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