well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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