Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
