I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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