Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
