Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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