Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
