Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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