Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Randomize
