He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
