singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
